He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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