White coat. Heels.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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