I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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