i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
