my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
