Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
