Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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