I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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