lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
