the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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