at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
