My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
