Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
