Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
