Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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