WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
