it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
