So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
