thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Randomize
