Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
jump out the window naked night went bad
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