She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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