My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
