It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
