Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
