New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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