yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
