dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
