ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
