Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
