Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
