She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
