I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize