He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
