alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
