So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
