You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
