Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm too high and old for this...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
