Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
