How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
