I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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