That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
