I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
