So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
