omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
and you fell through a lawn chair
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
