He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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