Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
