I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do herpes really smell.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
