only if we run a train.
done.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
