he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
