i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
