I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
