I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
